


Saying This Ain't Nothing, But It's All I Need

by abadcaseoftiffanyblews



Series: Reasons [2]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Canonical Character Death, Depression, Dorks in Love, Fluff, Grief/Mourning, Humor, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Made For Each Other, Marriage Proposal, Sequel, Time Skips, at least I think so
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-08
Updated: 2015-09-08
Packaged: 2018-04-19 17:24:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4754828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abadcaseoftiffanyblews/pseuds/abadcaseoftiffanyblews
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi was never one of those kids who was loved unconditionally by his parents like Eren. His mother passed when he was young, and his uncle took him in and raised him off of tough love and whiskey.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Saying This Ain't Nothing, But It's All I Need

**Author's Note:**

> So guys, this is the second part to a series. You can read it by itself, but it would make a lot more sense if you read the other one first! Enjoy and thank you!  
> Title is by the weeknd, and this one is told in Levi's POV. I wonder what he has to say?

**One**

Because Eren Jaeger was fifteen when they met and he was poetic and angry and maybe just a tad bit sad in all the right ways. He was young and reckless and the only person stupid enough to ask out a vertically challenged pissed off college senior when they weren't even old enough to drive by themselves. And he was the love of Levi's life.

Eren could spout all the crap he wanted to about   fate  and  sparks  and  grounding- _Levi, you grounded me._   But Levi knows that it was pure chance that he looked into that small  café  window just as Eren looked up. He knows that it was just attraction that had him staring at green - _blue? Who the fuck knows?_ -  eyes and definitely not because he felt a  _magnetic pull_.

The boy was just sitting there, drinking something that left a stripe of brown across his top lip when Levi noticed him. A pair of pretty eyes inside an even prettier face, pink tongue darting out to lick the stripe right out of existence except not really, because he missed a spot on the corner of his mouth. He must have felt the man's stare because lost eyes made their way to Levi's face and stared right back, even after Levi glowered at him. And then he was out of sight and out of mind the second Levi walked passed the window. 

 

He was on his way home from school, exhausted after a long day of notes and quizzes. Levi wasn't even going to think about the shit load of homework he had.  Curling up in sweats and a blanket with a nice scalding hot cup of tea with his favorite book sounded like heaven; and he couldn't wait to get there. All thoughts of heaven were scattered however, when a certain green eyed boy tugged on his coat. 

"Yes?" Levi asked, letting his annoyance shine through to show the kid that he was really not in the mood for human interaction , no matter how pretty they were . 

He mumbled something that Levi  couldn't quite catch, and the raven haired man watched in slight amusement as the boy looked away and a light blush spread across his cheeks.

"Look  kid, I don't have all day, alright? It's fucking cold, and my balls are about to fall off. So either let go of my coat, or get on with it already." Levi snapped, because no matter how cute this kid was, it was still the beginning of February, meaning it was still freezing,  _meaning_   that Levi didn't want to  stay   outside  longer than necessary . 

 

To his surprise, the kid just laughed. It was a nice laugh, bright and bubbly, but most of all, it was  warm.  And in all honesty, Levi should have known then and there that he was screwed, but he wouldn't find that out until Eren asked him if he would like to meet again, and he would say yes.

 

** Two **

Because not only did Eren have a warm laugh, he also had a sunny smile that was far too bright for Levi's tired eyes. If he were Eren, he'd say something about how the butterflies in his stomach fluttered  in the light of that smile and how his wind chime voice dance d  with the flowers woven into his ribcage, but he was Levi, and he  saw  different things.

Like how Eren had purplish bruises around his eyes and the way he sometimes blinked slowly, like those modelesque lashes had tangled and sewn his eyes shut. Or the lost look he often took on when he thought nobody was looking . Levi thought about how technically none of this was legal and he was pretty much a pedophile for even thinking about Eren that way. He ignores  things, like the way Eren's sister glares suspiciously at him and how Carla Jaeger smiled at him like Levi had personally gave her the world. And  the way Eren could  make him blush like a teenage virgin. 

Like the time Levi had told the boy that he wouldn't kiss him until he turned eighteen and Eren had just curled his lips into a wicked smirk and said, "Levi, you  dog.  J ust  what  have you been thinking about?" 

He had kicked Eren off his couch as the teenager howled with laughter at Levi's  tomato red  face . It was quite odd he thought, that  despite how different they were, they complimented  each other ra ther nicel y . Where Eren was red hot anger and pain rolled into a fifteen year old hormone filled body, Levi was ice cold fury. W here he was rounded bursts of passion and hot-headed insults , Levi was sharp edges and cool remarks. Eren was bright and larger than life and  Levi was faded and small. 

Eren never seemed to notice any of this, but Levi did. He always noticed Eren. And that made his resolve all the more harder, Eren not helping in the least . He was always showing his affections to Levi, flashing that boyish grin at him every chance he got. Always hugging him hello, like Levi's been gone a long time, and hugging him goodbye as if he'd never see him again. 

So on the morning of Eren's eighteenth birthday, as  Levi was picking  him up for  school, Eren's arms already forming a deathly trap for hugs, the blame was not to be placed on Levi when he grabbed the unsuspecting boy and kissed him senseless. He wouldn't forget the kiss anytime soon, and if you asked Levi, he's say that it deserved some type of award.

Eren's cute little gasp as he stumbled into Levi, the way is fingers curled tightly into Levi's shirt. Those gorgeous eyes scrunched shut tightly, Levi took a second to marvel at the adorable sight before going in for the kill. Eren's mouth was soft and pillowy, sweet from the cherry chapstick he applied religiously. Eren wasn't particularly skilled, but that was to be expected, it was his first kiss after all. 

When Levi pulled away, a thin string of saliva connecting them, Eren, a bit dazed looking, said," That's a lot different from a stuffed animal." 

Levi had blinked in disbelief before pulling Eren down into another kiss, bu t  not before asking, "Can a stuffed animal do this?" Eren's breathy moan was taken for a 'no.'

 

** Three **

Because the first time Eren says he loves Levi, it isn't scary like he thought it would be. No, it 's  so heart  wrenchingly  _right_.

 

They were at Levi's shared apartment, Hanji's yelling and Erwin's deep rumble leaking through the walls obnoxiously.   Eren was lying on his stomach  on the floor, watching T.V in a pair of red shorts  and one of Levi's t-shirts. Levi was trying to clean up his bookshelf, something he had been putting off to hang out with a certain brunette, but he was too busy watching the way Eren's butt jiggled in those tiny shorts every time he kicked his leg back to actually get anything done. 

Hanji's chortles were starting to become way too loud and it was pissing Levi off. Eren simply raised the volume , but it doesn't do much of a difference, especially when Erwin lets out a booming laugh. It honestly startled the both of them, Eren's ba by pink toes digging into the carpet, slightly jumping. Levi shoots up and storms out of his room. 

The two idiots are in the tiny kitchen, it appears that Hanji is waxing Erwin's eyebrows. 

"Oi." Levi spits out coldly, causing Hanji to jump and rip of the wax strip she had a hold on. The short man lets out a satisfied smirk at Erwin's wince, and continues, "While I'm glad that you've finally decided to trim your fucking face bushes, you shit heads need to shut the fuck up. Eren's trying to watch T.V." 

He purposely ignores their knowing glances and spins around to head back to the boy in his room. Eren's already facing him when Levi walks back into the room. 

"What?" Levi asks.

Eren has an odd look on his face as he contemplates Levi. He looks like a puppy, chocolate hair an absolute mess, emerald blue eyes batting innocently at him, and his head slightly tilted to the left. Eren chews on his lip a bit, emotions sparkling in his eyes. 

"I love you." He said  so softly Levi almost thought  he imagined it, but Eren's expectant look told  him he didn't. The world didn't  end like Levi thought it would. Instead, emotion blooms in his chest, a whole shit load of it, happiness, relief, hope, and love. They just go off like a combustion and electricity sparkles across Levi's skin up into his heart, the hair on the back of his neck stands up on end and he gets goose bumps  from the feeling, He feels like he's soaring up, up, up, before falling back to earth, like he's at the tipping point of a roller coaster about to plummet to the bottom and his stomach is up in his throat and suddenly his body is diminished, made of air and he floats away in a cloud of relief. 

Levi was never one of those kids who was  loved unconditionally by his parents like Eren. His mother passed when he was young, and his uncle took him in and raised him off of tough love and whiskey. If he misbehaved he got the belt, if he did something good, he could do better. Kenny wasn't affectionate   and Levi didn't hold that against him, after all he wasn't touchy feely either. At least he hadn't been until he met Eren. 

Eren. His sweet boy, caring and kind and all too trusting. He loved him? Someone as cold and hard as Levi? Eren, whose warmth is similar to the mother Levi  lost so long ago. Nobody had looked at him with such affection since she passed. 

Levi snaps out of his thoughts and looks at Eren, he is still looking up at Levi, sitting on his floor in Levi's clothes and seeming a bit anxious. Levi stri des over to him, and lifts him up onto his feet.   He's looking into Eren's eyes, trying to convey the message back to him. He can't say the words just yet, hell, he can't even _ remember _  the last time he said them. Eren blinks back at him and they're standing so close that Levi can feel the feather light brush against his eyebrow. And he's hoping that Eren won't misunderstand his silence, he's hoping that he won't crush Eren's heart. But of course, Eren knows him so well and he giggles before clasping both hand s onto Levi's cheeks and bringing his face closer to kiss him. 

The kiss is soft _and_ dry, and it doesn't feel different like Levi thought it would, it's familiar and he realizes that perhaps it's  _ him  _ that  feels different. Eren's lips taste like artificial vanilla because the store didn't have cherry, but it's delicious all the same. Even more so are  the softs noises rising from the boy's throat. Things grow a bit heated, and they move it to the bed.

 

In the morning, as Levi's up to get coffee and Eren is still asleep, Erwin walks in and greets him. Levi lets out a grunt and takes a sip out of his scalding cup. 

"Were you watching a horror movie last night?"Erwin asks as he crack some eggs into a pan.

"What the hell are you talking about, bush face?" Levi snarks. Just as he says that  Hanji  bounds into the room, all messy ponytails and crooked glasses,"Well we heard Eren sc reaming !"

 

** Four **

Because after Carla dies, the only person Eren talks to is him. The funeral comes and passes, and the horrible accident is covered on the news: Mother of Two Burned Alive in Freak Accident, Paramedics Unable to Reach Her. People come to the house bringing condolences and food,  which Levi is grateful for because Eren is the only one who knows how to cook, and he isn’t getting out of bed. 

The first week is nearly unbearable, the atmosphere is heavy with grief. Levi wants to be mad at Grisha for not helping his kids cope, but he can't blame him, if he ever lost Eren he can't help but think that he would react in a similar manner. Mikasa is the only one out of the family of three that seems to be dealing with it. Perhaps her worry for Eren is keeping her from falling apart. Levi can relate. 

Frustration eats away at _Levi._ He's helpless in this situation and he hates feeling this way. All he can do is p et Eren's head as he sobs into Levi's neck, crying for his mother. Carla is probably the only one who can make her son feel better.   But she's dead, and didn't Levi promise her? Didn't he promise her that he would take care of her baby boy. 

Months pass by, Grisha goes back to work, Mikasa goes back to school, but Eren doesn't go with her. They try to make him get out of bed, but he won't. He becomes thin, his face gaunt. And he looks a bit like he did when Levi met him all those years ago, lost and fragile, except he's angrier. He blows up at Levi one day as he's trying to coax Eren out of bed.

_ "Shut the fuck up! You're all so annoying. Leave! Go home! I  don't need you here!" _

So Levi goes home and waits. It's two week s later when he gets a call from M ikasa, _ "Eren won't eat." _

 

She hangs up on him after that and he rushes to the Jaeger household. Mikasa answers the door when he arrives, glaring at him tiredly before nodding towards Eren's bedroom.  Eren's room is dark, he has the curtains pulled shut, and all Levi can see is the slight lump in the middle of the bed. 

"Levi?" Eren's soft voice calls. 

"It's me Eren, I'm here. " he replies.  _You're not taking care of him_ ,  Carla's voice rings in his ears. 

"I'm sorry!" Eren cries, "I don't want you to leave! Please. Please don't leave again."

Levi walks over to the bed and gently sits Eren up, his face is c rusted with tears and snot, and from the tiny bit of light that breaks through the heavy curtain he can see his eyes are  bloodshot. 

"I'll tell you what, "  Levi start s, "If you promise to eat at least two meals a day, I promise to never leave again." Eren frantically nods and slowly they make their way out of the bedroom. The boy squints a bit at the sudden light. Levi can see him a lot better in the light, and he looks skinny and pale, his hair is also dull. 

"When's the last time you had a bath, Eren?" Levi asks him, leading him to the kitchen. 

"I don't know." He answers quietly, clearl y embarrassed. Levi just nods his head and pulls out a chair for Eren to sit. He figures that he should feed Eren something light, so he breaks out the oatmeal. The microwave's soft hum brings sound to the otherwise silent kitchen.  Eren is sitting a bit stiffly, looking lost, something Levi has become used to. 

An obnoxious beep sounds and Levi pulls the bowl out and serves it to Eren. He takes slow, careful bites and i gnores  Levi. When he's done, Levi takes the bowl and washes it. He half expects Eren to be gone when he turns around, but is  pleasantly  surprised when he is still there, perched on his chair like a scared little bird. 

"C'mon, you need a bath." He says and scowls when Eren shakes his head. 

"I'm tired, I'll do it later."

Levi  lets out an exasperated sigh before walking to the bathroom. Starting a bath, he makes sure the water is warm and not too hot. When it's nearly full he turns the water off and walks back to the kitchen to fetch Eren. When Eren isn't there, L evi finds him in his room, lying down.

He flips the light on, "Get up, Eren."

"No." The green eyed boy snaps, "I already told you that I'm tired Levi." Sighing once again the shorter man walks over to his lover and rips the blankets off him. Ignoring the deathly look from Eren, he picks him up, which is worryingly easy. 

"Stop! Put me down!" Eren growls struggling to break free, but he was never able to get away from Levi when he was health y , let alone now.   Grisha walks out of his room just as they pass and asks, "What's going on?" 

"Bath time." Levi remarks before walking into the bathroom and closing the door with his foot. Finally setting the boy down, he forcibly yanks Eren's shirt up over his shoulders bu t  leaving it over his head. It gives him enough time to  p ull  the boys pajama pants down his legs while Eren tries to situate himself. 

"I'm serious Levi, I'm tired." Eren says, eyes showing a fiery anger that Levi is well accustomed to. 

"Then sleep." The older man says before lifting Eren up and into the warm water. Some spills over the edge when Eren flails a bit. Levi reaches past Eren and grabs the shampoo. He lathers it a bit to get it soapy before massaging it into Eren's scalp. The boy's shoulder' s are set in a tense line, but soon fall away in a relaxed slump. Levi's fingers rub across his head, thoroughly rubbing the shampoo  throu gh  his messy hair. 

He cups his hand around Eren' s forehead  as he rinses away the soap. The scent of strawberries reaches Levi's nose as he repeats the process with conditioner. It reminds him of Carla a bit and he figures that the shampoo was her's. 

Tears begin to leak out of Eren's eyes as Levi lathers body wash on his back, sniffles when he washes his legs, and whines as he washes Eren's arms. The bath water is an ugly murky brown when he's finished and Eren is full on sobbing by then. 

Levi pulls him out and sits him on the toilet before pulling out the plug. He wraps Eren in a towel before tugging him to his chest. Eren cries pitifully, fingers digging harshly into his back. Levi doesn’t mind the fact that he's partially getting soaked, he just wishes he could make it better. It feels like hours by the time Eren calms down enough, and Levi finishes drying him off so he can rub  lotion on him. 

"I think we need to try therapy." He says suddenly. Th e man hadn't wanted to bring it up in fear of Eren's response, but he figure it was time to do something about this. Eren blinks down at him slowly, and a teardrop still  attached to his black eyelashes drops onto Levi's cheek. Slender hands softly brush it away and Eren scowls a bit. 

"Before you get mad," Levi continues, "think about it. You aren't coping Eren. It's been four months already and you still can't get out of bed. I think something's wrong and we need to do something about it. You're sick, baby, and you don't even see it."

Eren's thumb's are rubbing circles on Levi's cheeks  and he says one word,"Okay."

 

** Five **

Because despite how messy he is, Eren does his damnedest to keep their apartment clean. His shoes are lined against the wall, but there is dirt under them. There is water stains on their windows and dishes and no matter how many minutes he spends straightening out the covers, their bed is always slightly wrinkled. 

Levi doesn't mind, he's always enjoyed cleaning, and Eren's efforts are enough. It is a Sunday, their designated cleaning day, and Levi watches amusedly while mopping the floor as Eren vigorously wipes the window. He wonders when the brunette will realize that the pesky stain is on the inside of the window. 

He is adorable with a white cloth tied around his head similar to Levi's and his pink tongue poking ou t of his mouth slightly. Levi finishes mopping and makes his way to the window. Eren smiles brightly at him before glowering down at the stain. Levi takes out his own towel and smirks before wiping it away in one sweep. 

Color blooms on Eren's cheek and he sheepishly looks up at Levi. The older makes his way out to their tiny balcony only to see Eren already going to town on the next window. He takes a minute  to watch how Eren's efforts make his but sway teasingly at Levi. 

He  smiles a bit as Eren jumps slightly when Levi's arm falls around his slim waist. 

"Levi! Can you believe that damn stain? Do you know how long I was scrubbing that spot for?  Thank you, you'r e the best ." The boy laughs and Levi tries not to feel bad. Instead he kisses Eren deeply and says, "I love you." The boy blushes once again and looks away shyly. 

"I love you too."

"Hey, wanna do it?" Levi says with a smirk and a satisfied glint in his eyes as Eren squirms.

"Yes, but after we finish cleaning! I still have to do the windows in the bedroom and you haven't even touched the bathroom floor!"

He scampers off with his bucket, butt jiggling and all as Levi stares after him in disbelief. He only has himself to blame.

 

**~~ Six ~~ **

Because Eren loved cliches, and that just made everything easier for Levi. His lover loved to take strolls on the beach hand in hand as the sun set and he loved picnics and cheesy love songs and most of all he loved  marriage  proposals. Levi had caught him more than once tearing up as someone asked someone else to marry them on youtube. 

They talked about marriage once or twice, but ultimately it wasn't a subject that came up often. But as of late Eren's youtube history was full of those damned videos and his eyes often lingered on ring shops just a tad bit too long. 

"You're in trouble." Erwin had said to him one day as Eren gushed over Hanji's engagment ring. Levi had just nodded. He wasn't stupid, and he sure as hell wasn't blind. He knew Eren would never wish for it out loud, in fear that it may pressure Levi, but the boy obviously wishes for marriage and children and more  cliche s . 

The  idea used to seem scary to Levi, being tied down to one person  _till death do us part_.

 

But he could never view Eren as someone he'd be tied down to. Even if that were the case, he'd happily tie himself to Eren. He loved the  brun ette , and he wanted to make him happy. 

So he bought a ring, a simple white gold band with two rows of diamonds over lapping  to form a 'X.' Hanji had screamed when she saw it and Erwin let out a low whistle. Even Mikasa seemed a bit impressed. He kept it in his pocket, working up the nerve to ask the boy. Anxiety runs through him like the  blood in his veins. 

On the day he planned to ask him, everything went to shit. Eren had already eaten by the time Levi got home from work and in the middl e of their walk the sky let down a shit load of rain. Levi wanted to cry. Eren didn’t seem to mind the weather however as he tilted his head back and opened his mouth to let the rain in. 

Their clothes began to stick to them and the air was uncomfortably chilly. Eren laughed and began to kick water from the puddles at Levi.

"Oi, you little shit, knock that out." he gruffed, slightly pouting and very much upset. Eren laughed again and kicked a little harder. "Make me, old man." 

As he chased Eren around, a different cli che came to mind, and he thought maybe he could go through with it today af ter all. Flirtatious game of tag? Check. He rushes up behind Eren and holds him close to kiss him. Kiss in the rain? Check. 

"I love you, Eren." He whispers into his lover's neck. 

Love confessi o ns  after passionate kiss? Check.

"Aw, I love you too Levi! Let's go inside, we're gonna get sick." He starts to walk away and Levi pulls hi m  back. There's a confused look on his face. No turning back now, and Levi throws all fucks out the window. He slides to one knee, ignoring the disgusting feeling of wet sand, and pulls the ring out of his pocket. 

The brunette slightly gasps and Levi starts, "Eren, I don't really know how to express this, but I think that's one of the reasons I love you so much. I don' t really need to say anything because you understand so well. But today, I will say exactly what is on my mind, because you deserve it. I'm so in love with you, I've been in love with you since you were fifteen and I was so scared that I was going to be arrested and never get to see you again. I'm crazy about you, your voice, your eyes, your kindness, and your warmth. You're like the fucking sun, but hotter. My sun. You’re mine and that makes me so happy.  You,  you make me happy and I like being happy. I want to be happy forever, and that's why I want to be with you forever. And that's why I want to ask you to marry me. I want to wake up every morning and see your face and I want to hear your little metaphors you spit out all the time and I want to see the little streaks you leave on the dishes and windows. Everywhere I look, there's a piece of you in my life, and I want more, I want kids and I want that white picket fence with a dog. I want to see your sister's look of doom when we tell her that she's never getting rid of me, and I want the whole world to see that I belong to you and only you. So please, Eren Jaeger, please take my last name and please take this ring and say you'll marry me, because I need you so bad."

And the whole time Levi's saying this, the rain is stopping and the sun is coming out, like Eren's smile is pulling it out. The brunette, flings his arms around Levi;s neck and now not only is he going to have to wash wet sand out of his pants, but also Eren's, but that doesn't really matter because Eren is saying,"Yes, oh my God, Levi, yes, I'll marry you." And he's also kissing him and Levi  is smiling so hard he thinks his face is going to crack in half. 

Happy ending? Check.

**Author's Note:**

> Phew, it's finally over... My first work :( I've got a few other ideas floating around in my head. Hopefully I can learn to write smut soon lol. Please comment or leave a kudos, they help a lot. And thank you for sitting through this crap :D As usual feedback is always welcome just please don't be too brutal. ;D Any mistakes/corrections? Please tell me!


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